Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: It's Rewarding, But Challenging By Keisha Mitchell, Graduate Assistant, AAMU

Did you know that drug or alcohol abuse among natural parents is often the reason grandparents have to step in and take over the raising of grandchildren. Assuming the parental role of a grandchild can be stressful. Dedicated caregivers often take on their new roles at a tremendous personal sacrifice. In fact, many grandparent caregivers find their personal resources stretched to the limit, and they lack the support of friends who can understand what they are facing. Many grandparents are turning to each other to find the comfort and help they need. Support groups provide people who face common problems with the opportunity to meet others who share similar experiences, knowledge, strengths, and hopes.

Raising a grandchild can be both rewarding and challenging. The adjustment will take time and patience on everyone's part. Here are a few tips to help make a smooth transition for both you and your grandchild:

• Share time together
• Listen to the child
• Give positive reinforcement

When moving your grandchild into your home, don't be surprised if your grandchild is sad during the transition. Be sensitive to the child's feelings to help make the adjustment easier. When a child is removed from their biological home they may experience feelings of worthlessness. Instead, focus on the child, tell them you love them, and try to relax and enjoy them as they grow. Provide a loving and stable environment. These tips should help aide in a smooth transition into your home.

Some grandparents who are raising their grandchildren don't know what the child should call them. Many grandchildren already have a favorite name for their grandparents before they move. If your grandchild calls you NaNa or PaPa, let them continue to use that name for you when you take on the parental role.

Consider the relationship between you and your grandchild as a flower. Start before the child is born by gardening their parents. Spend as much one-on-one alone time with your grandchild as possible. The vital connection between you and your grandchild blossoms fully when the child has your undivided attention in an unhurried and relaxed atmosphere. It is under these conditions that the child can absorb you into their heart and soul.

While the child is the primary focus, grandparents cannot neglect their own health. Parenting the second time around can take a vital toll on one's health if necessary precautions are not taken. Grandparents should take time for themselves. It's okay to relax. Perhaps you should take a vacation. A healthy parent is a productive parent.

References

Brintnall-Peterson, Mary and Targ, Dena B. (2005). Current trends, issues and concerns for grandparents raising grandchildren. Retrieved September 5, 2007.

Egyptian Area Agency on Aging. (March 20, 2007). Resource guide for grandparents and other older adults raising grandchildren. Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Retrieved September 5, 2007.

Ruffin, Wilma. (2004). Kinship care: Grandparents and relatives as parents. Retrieved September 6, 2007.

The Grandparent Foundation. (1998). Tips for adoptive grandparents. The Family Forum. Retrieved September 6, 2007.

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