What Contemporary Families Need By Jannie Carter, Ph.D., Extension Assistant Director

Families are society's foundation and we cannot live without them. Unlike the traditional model of the early 1950s, families now come in a variety of "shapes and sizes." Whether we are born into them or whether they are created through relationships, families are important because they serve as our fundamental source of security and support. Building and sustaining a successful family in the twenty-first century is no short order. A contemporary family requires solid foundations based on critical needs.

The National Council on Family Relations has summarized four areas that are crucial to sustaining today's families, such as: 1) what children need to get a good start; 2) what parents need to raise healthy and productive children; 3) what adolescents need to become competent and productive adults; and 4) what living longer means to families.

Essentially, children need to be nurtured in safe and healthy environments that support learning and educational attainment for positive development. Parents need job security and community environments that ensure health care, affordable housing accommodations, quality childcare provisions, and adequate school facilities for school-age children. Adolescents need parental supervision, increased opportunities for productive employment, and to be free from violence at home and school. Living longer means families and communities need to understand and be prepared to respond to intergenerational linkages to better assist grandparents raising grandchildren, elder caregivers, and the aging population.

Thinking through the many layers of family needs and relationships can be overwhelming sometimes as we try to get a handle on what it all means and how we should function in our various roles. Stephen Covey, the well known author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People identified seven family habits that serve as blueprints to build strong, close knit families and to remind us why families are important. Covey encourages families to:

1. Exhibit proactive behavior that involves taking time to think before acting.
2. Have a clear vision that begins with the end in mind to help define who you are and what you want to be as a family.
3. Put first things first and recognize family as a priority that requires quality time to support problem solving, learning, and socialization.
4. Think and act as a family team for "win-win" outcomes.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood by putting yourself in another's position to clarify the when, how, and why in a given situation.
6. Heighten family synergy by embracing differences and showing mutual respect.
7. Take time to "sharpen the saw" (preserve and enhance yourself) and make time for activities that evolve into family traditions.

If families can incorporate any of these blueprints into their family dynamics, then they are well on their way to forming healthy family environments and to meet the challenges of the twenty-first century.

National Council on Family Relations. (November 15, 2000). Public policy through a family lens: Sustaining families in the 21st century. Executive Summary. Retrieved June 16, 2006.

Smith, Hillary. (December 8, 2002). Why families are important. Relationship Services. Retrieved June 16, 2006.

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