There are many potentially stressful times of the year for teenagers, but May can particularly be stressful for those who are taking final exams, finishing final papers or projects, getting final grades, and graduating from high school. These major milestones, whether for the semester or for the next chapter of their life, can be stressful. It is important for parents and guardians to check in with their teens concerning their mental health.

When Focusing on End-of-Semester Exams, Papers, and Projects

• Let teens know that their worth is not tied to a single test, paper, project, or grade. Reframe grades as information about their current understanding of a topic, not their intelligence or potential.
• Give space for teens to express their concerns without judgement or commentary. Sometimes just having a person listen to what they are stressed about is helpful.
• Let teens know that it is important to ask for help. Help does not have to only come from a parent or guardian. Teens can seek help from other adults and educators that can tutor or provide support.
• If possible, help teens break down the tasks for projects into manageable steps. Teens can also seek help for this online.
• Ask when finals are occurring and when things are due. If you recognize that your teen is extremely stressed, try to lower expectations in chores, home tasks, and duties that you control. If something can be done to make things easier at home, do it.
• Talk about how you manage stress, anxiety, and disappointment. Whether you manage these well or not, it can be a good starting point for conversation.
• If teens do not do well at the end of the year, reflect with them about what they learned from the experience and what they can do in the future.
• Partner with school staff if you notice your teen is feeling unusually stressed, indifferent, depressed, or anxious by their academic demands.
• Help them practice positive coping strategies and remind them that substances cannot fix their stress. Ideas for positive strategies are listed in the publication, “Helping Parents Understand Vaping: Information & Strategies to Support Adolescent Mental Health,” available at aces.edu.

When Graduating from High School

• Acknowledge that graduation can bring a mix of excitement and stress. Avoid consistently having pressure-packed conversations about next steps. Those conversations are important but should not be the only thing you talk about when you are together.
• Try to space decision-making for major milestones and other events away from final exams, papers, and projects. Discussions about pictures, graduation parties or trips, etc. should happen before or after finals.
• Let them know that their worth is not tied to where they go to college or whether they attend at all. College is one type of educational process that can move them toward their future career. If their future career plans change, the education process might change as well. This is a helpful way to look at education if they decide to make a change later.
• Give space for teens to talk without judgement or commentary. Sometimes just knowing that you are there to listen is helpful.
• Talk about how you manage stress, anxiety, and disappointment. Whether you manage these well or not, it can be a good starting point for conversation.
• Remember to remind them that its normal to feel uncertain about the future and they are not alone. Sometimes sharing your challenges and learning moments at school or work can normalize the experience.
• If you notice your teen is feeling unusually stressed, indifferent, depressed, or anxious about the transition, talk to them, seek out help from mental health professionals, and help them practice positive coping strategies. Ideas for positive strategies are listed in the publication mentioned above.