Teen Goals

The goals for teens focus on both small and large parent-teen relationship issues that most concern teens and/or are important for teens to know. In addition to addressing to teens' perspective on these issues, the teens are helped to cosider their parents point of view on these topics. Below is a brief summary for each goal.

#1 Maybe Means Maybe

Many times when adolescents ask their parents permission to engage in an activity, parents need to think about it before giving an answer to their child. When this occurs, it is up to the teen to decide how to accept the "maybe" response. Teens will learn about how to ask permission respectfully, why parents may need to think about the answer, and how to appropriately respond to a "no" or "maybe" answer.

#2 Parents are "Crazy"

Throughout a child's life, parents are often concerned or worried about their child. However, during adolescence, teens may begin to think that parental worry or concern is silly, unwarranted, or upsetting. Teens will learn about why their parents are concerned or worried about them, the kinds of behaviors teens engage in that worry parents, the kinds of behaviors parents engage in when they are worried, and why parents give their children advice about growing up.

#3 Your Behaviors Matter

Parental support and understanding come when teens show more responsibility in their behaviors. However, irresponsibility on behalf of the teen makes it more difficult for parents to support or understand their teens. Teens will learn about and discuss the link between responsibility and parental support, how irresponsibility works against the teen, and how effective communication and give and take are important in gaining parental support and understanding.

#4 Responsibilities = Freedoms

As children grow older, there is a developmental need for increased autonomy during adolescence. Adolescence is a time to learn and practice adult roles. However, with increased autonomy there should be an increase in responsibility. The link between showing responsible behaviors and increased freedoms is discussed. In addition, teens will learn about what responsible behaviors look like in and out of the family and what can be earned by showing responsible behaviors.

#5 Too Many Rules!

As adolescents begin to request more freedoms, the may believe having rules are unnecessary and not understand the need for rules. Many adolescents also have a hard time understanding why their friends have different rules than they may have. Teens discuss the importance of rules, the types of rules adolescents may have, why families may have different rules than other families do, and appropriate ways of behaving when they disagree with a rule.

#6 Who can I talk to?

During adolescence, teens have many questions about sensitive topics that may be difficult for them to ask their parents about (for example, sex). Generally, when teens have questions they ask their friends. Unfortunately, friends may not always have the right information. Instead of talking to their friends, teens will learn to identify other safe, trustworthy adults they can discuss sensitive topics with when they are uncomfortable talking with their parents. They also will discuss where they can find safe, trustworthy adults.

#7 We're fighting, again?

Conflicts between parents and teens are a normal part of adolescence. Teens are learning a number of social skills needed for a healthy adult life in a safe environment. However, when the fighting is continuous or serious, then there may be a problem. Teens will learn potential reasons why the fighting occurs, ways to prevent the serious fights from occuring, and ways to reduce the number of day-to-day arguments.

#8 Let's Talk About...

During adolescence, teens tend to have questions on sensitive topics that parents may find difficult to talk with their teens about. Generally, teens feel that these same topics are hard to discuss with their parents. Such topics include adolescent sexuality (having sex, using protection), drug and alcohol use, and adolescent depression or suicide. As difficult as these topics may be to discuss with parents, it is important for teens to bring up the topics when they have questions. Teens will learn about what makes a topic sensitive, why it's important to talk to parents about the sensitive topic, and how to start a conversation about a sensitive topic.

#9 Spending Time Together

Inevitably, when children become adolescents, they spend less time with their parents and more time with their friends. However, it is still important for teens to spend time with their parents and their family. Teens will discuss the importance of spending time with their family, why parents still want to spend time with their teens, and ideas of ways parents and teens can enjoy spending time together.

#10 Tolerance and Diversity

A hate crime occurs every hour. Hate crimes include racial slurs, handing out racist pamphlets, threatening phone calls, hate mail, physical assaults, destruction of religious symbols, and fire bombings. Everyday, people become victims of hate crimes because of their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, size, or abilities. Teens are taught about what hate crimes are, what they can do when they witness a hate crime, and ways to fight against hate crimes and prejudice within themselves. Promoting tolerance has never been more important than it is today.