THIS IS THE SECOND OF A SERIES OF ARTICLES DEALING WITH CONCERNS OF OLDER ALABAMIANS.
 
 
 

ETHICAL WILLS GAINING POPULARITY

Auburn, Aug. 27---Ethical wills have gained popularity in recent years.

Unlike traditional wills that transfer worldly possessions, an ethical will bequeaths values, ideas and personal reflections to family members and other loved ones. Ethical wills can be a reflection of the writer's life, including descriptions of significant events, and can express the writer's unique personality.

Ethical wills are an ancient Jewish tradition whose roots stem from early biblical times. Early wills were passed on orally while those of later generations were recorded on paper.

An ethical will need not be lengthy or time consuming to write, says Dr. Jo Turner, an Extension program specialist with the Alabama Cooperative Extension System. A few paragraphs can be meaningful to recipients. Experience in writing also isn't required to compose an ethical will. If the message is from the heart, spelling and grammatical mistakes will be inconsequential to the loved ones reading the words. Recipients of ethical wills tend to read and reread them.

Ethical wills may be addressed to a spouse, children, a special friend or to an entire family. You may wish to compose more than one ethical will.

There are no magical formulas or formats for content of an ethical will. It's important for the writer to express the essence of his or her heart and personality.

If you enjoy writing poetry or songs, consider using an original composition in your ethical will. If you're not good with written words or you are no longer able to manage a writing instrument, dictate the will onto a cassette tape or use a video recorder. If your penmanship is poor, think about using a typewriter or word processor.

Your creativity is your only limitation.

To ensure the ethical will remains intact for many years, use acid free paper that will not disintegrate, mold or fade. Think about the size and type of paper as well. You may prefer a bound book to loose-leaf sheets. Use only high quality, fade-resistant ink.

What you have to say is important! If you're thinking, "I don't really have anything important to write," think again. You are unique! You have lived and learned in your own special way, and you have important thoughts, experiences and feelings to pass on to those around you.

You don't need to be a sage or a saint. Open your heart and write what comes; it will be a gift and a legacy, "a window into your soul " that loved ones will cherish.

What you include determines the length of the will. Describing life events, goals, values and beliefs could require a lengthy will. Some people prefer to keep the will short and simple or to address specific topics such as: "My Definition of True Success," "Why I Love You and Will Miss You," "What I Appreciate Most," "Mistakes I Learned From," "What Spirituality Means to Me," or "My Happiest and Funniest Moments."

Consider including stories with deep personal meaning, your ancestral background, people or events that helped shape your life, family obligations, favorite scripture passages or even actions for which you would like to ask forgiveness.

After you have brainstormed, it may be helpful to write each theme you plan to use in the ethical will at the top of a separate piece of paper, using the space for an outline of details, anecdotes and favorite things that support the theme. This will help organize your ideas and make it easier to write a clear, cohesive and meaningful ethical will.

It takes courage to write an ethical will. In composing an ethical will you come face to face with your life and mortality. You are reminded that we all live in the shadow of death and that each day of life is a precious opportunity.

When writing an ethical will you confront yourself. You must look inward to see what essential truths you have learned in a lifetime, face up to your failures and consider what things really count.

"It's never too soon to write an ethical will," says Turner. "Death can happen at any time, even for teenagers and younger children. It's often best to write important material like this when we are fresh and not pressed for time. Remember, sometimes late in life mental and physical capacities diminish. These make it difficult or even impossible to prepare an ethical will."

An ethical will is a gift to the giver and the receiver. It helps clarify values and

puts life in perspective. Writing an ethical also will is a healthy, healing exercise.

Carefully weigh your words before deciding to use them. Be aware of the potential damage ethical wills could produce if wielded as a weapon from the grave to control and chastise recipients. Such abuse of a rich tradition could be damaging. Remember, once you die, you cannot take back anything you say.

Elaine Tiller, executive director of Community Ministries, Baptist Senior

Adult Ministries, Washington, DC, says, "Ethical wills are windows into the souls of those who write them. It is this that makes them so cherished by family members from generation to generation."

The writer should decide the best time to share the ethical will.

If you choose to present it before death, consider leaving a second will to be read upon death. Likewise, update the will whenever you feel the need.

Here is an example of an ethical will. It's from Ethical Wills: A Modern Jewish Treasury edited by Jack Riemer and Nathaniel Stampfer.
 

To My Grandchildren, and to Children Everywhere:

I leave you my unpaid debts. They are my greatest assets. Everything I

own - I owe:

1. To America I owe a debt for the opportunity it gave me to be free and to be me.

2. To my parents I owe America. They gave it to me and I leave it to you. Take good care of it.

3. To the biblical tradition I owe the belief that man does not live by bread alone, nor does he live alone at all. This is also the democratic tradition. Preserve it.

4. To the six million of my people and to the 30 million other humans who died because of man's inhumanity to man, I owe a vow that it must never happen again.

5. I leave you not everything I never had, but everything I had in my lifetime: a good family, respect for learning, compassion for my fellowman, and some four-letter words for all occasions, words like "help," "give," "care," "feel," and "love."

Grandpa Sam Levenson

Raised in New York, Sam Levenson was a high school teacher and a popular humorist.