Taking Stock of Fatherhood: Some Useful Tips
Auburn, June 6, 2003 --- William Shakespeare once said, “It is a wise father that knows his own 
child.”
Time and again, research has proven him right.
Father’s Day is a day set aside each year to celebrate those fathers who have taken the time to 
know their children.  But one expert believes it is also an appropriate time for fathers to reflect on 
the many unique ways they contribute to their children’s well-being.  
“Studies have consistently revealed the formative role fathers play in their children’s physical 
skills and social development,” said Dr. Ellen Abell, an Alabama Cooperative Extension System 
family and child development expert and Auburn University professor of human development and 
family studies.
But it goes even deeper than that, she contended.

“Engaged fathers also play a major role in their children’s intellectual development,” Abell 
observed.  “For example, infants whose fathers are involved in caring and playing with them tend 
to develop more cognitive skills.” 

A father’s involvement is also reflected in the comparative success these children enjoy in school, 
she said.  This can be true even for children who do not live with their fathers on a daily basis.

“Children with involved fathers tend to fare better in every category,” Abell stressed.  “They get 
more As and are less likely to repeat grades.  In addition to taking part in more extracurricular 
activities, they also tend to enjoy school more.”

Father’s Day, Abell believes, is also a good time for dads to pause and take stock of the quality of 
their involvement by asking the following questions:

*	Is your child the center of your attention, or is the time you spend with them just done to 
keep them busy?

*	When you’re with your child, are you doing things he/she would like to do?

*	Do you save time and energy so you can spend it with your child, or do you interact only 
when it’s convenient?

*	Are you just as happy spending ordinary time with your child with no particular purpose in 
mind as you are when you have a purpose?

    The amount and quality of time fathers spend with children are especially important issues 
since, in many cases, fathers are not their children’s primary care givers.
    
    “Quality time helps fathers understand their children better,” she said. “Likewise, it helps the 
child see his/her dad as a whole person.”
    
    There are many ways fathers can develop this quality time, including becoming more 
physically involved in their children’s lives.  Examples of physical involvement include:
    
*	Exercising with your child

*	Getting involved with your child’s sports team

*	Taking your child shopping

*	Monitoring your child’s TV and computer viewing habits

*	Sharing a common hobby with your child

*	Involving your child in daily chores – planning meals, budgeting and/or shopping

       Equally important is the need for fathers to become socially and intellectually engaged 
with their children, Abell said.

	“Social involvement could include getting to know your children’s friends, telling your 
children you love them on a regular basis, and being affectionate with them in appropriate ways,” 
she said.  “Learning to talk and to really listen to your child is a very important way to be 
involved.”

          Finally, she also stressed how important it is for fathers to take an active role in their 
children’s learning.
    
         “This could be as simple as helping you children with their homework or exploring things 
and places of interest together,” she said.  
    
         “Reading is especially important,” Abell said.  “Just as important, you should see yourself 
as your child’s primary teacher.”
    
(Source:  Dr. Ellen Abell, Extension Family and Child Development Specialist, 334-844-
4480.)