Auburn, Sept. 20---As America recovers from the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history, children aren’t the only ones coping with the aftermath.

Adults, too, are working through an array of emotions.

"While some of us are still experiencing the shock and disbelief that comes from any event where there is unexpected loss of life, others have moved to other reactions," says Dr. Ellen Abell, an Alabama Cooperative Extension System family and child development specialist. "These include fear, outrage, sadness, and confusion and uncertainty about what will come next," she says.

Loss of control and a feeling that security long taken for granted has now been lost, also are common reactions, she says, adding that adults of every age will experience these types of emotions because they are a part of the grieving process.

"Each person goes through this process in his or her own way," Abell says. "A variety of physical and mental reactions are part of the grieving process. While some people may feel outrage, simmering anger, or a constant edginess, others may be unable to sleep or eat normally or lack the ability to concentrate."

Along with anger, edginess and sleeplessness, other symptoms may include anxiety, intense sadness, weariness or fatigue or even a sense of numbness – an inability to feel anything at all.

How can adults cope with these feelings in healthy ways?

First, adults should remember that feeling grief at this time is completely normal and expected. In fact, Abell says there would be cause to worry if one didn’t grieve in some way.

Moreover, she says, adults should understand that these feelings will likely grow worse before they get better.

Even so, the important thing to remember is that these feelings will improve with time.

"If you’re patient with your feelings and those of others, you’ll gradually begin to feel better," Abell says. "Just keep reminding yourself that as awful as these events have been, you’ll get through them in time."

Also, adults need to reach out to other adults and family members, drawing on the mutual support caring relationships provide," she says.

"If you’re a person comfortable with verbalizing your feelings, find a good listener and share your feelings," she says. "On the other hand, if you’re a person who typically says little, find other ways to handle this grieving process."

Some effective solutions would be running laps or taking long walks, Abell says, adding that "you could also build that bookshelf for your son’s room, clean out the garage or do yard work."

Whatever the case, Abell says, bottling up grief only causes more stress and affects work and relationships.

"As so often has been said, ‘The only way out of pain is through it,’" she says.

Finally, Abell says adults should recognize that the grieving process does not necessarily prevent the experience of other, more positive emotions.

"On the positive side, feelings of resolve and the determination to move forward are also feelings adults are experiencing now," she observes. "Indeed, a desire to help people who need our help, confidence in our country’s ability to respond, and the drive to come together as communities to put things right and not to let terrorism define our way of life are positive feelings on which many people are charting their future."

However one is coping at the present time, it’s important that a tragedy of this size underscores the fact that we are connected to each other and that we need each other, Abell says.

"Every day, there are smaller tragedies in our own communities that we can help with," she says. "Acting on our feelings of empathy and desire to help are constructive ways to work through the grieving process."