Auburn, Sept. 12---Many American children will be coping with feelings of insecurity and vulnerability in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington and will need help from parents and adults to work through these emotions.

"Parents need to assume that their child knows enough about what happened to be disturbed by it," says Dr. Ellen Abell, an Alabama Cooperative Extension System family and child development specialist. They also need to be aware that children will react differently and to be alert to their children’s moods and behavior."

"It’s likely children over age 3 will first react with fear, wondering if such a thing could happen to them."

Interviews with children and parents during and after similar tragedies have shown fears and worry were the chief reactions.

Such reactions may be especially acute following this tragedy because many of the victims may turn out to be children.

Similar tragedies involving only adults, though disturbing, are often not as compelling to children.

The best way for parents to address their children’s fear is simply to provide realistic assurance, Abell says.

"Without going into details about the tragedy, parents should assure their children that a terrorist attack involving them personally isn’t very likely," she says. "It’s also important for children to know their parents and teachers are doing everything in their power to ensure their safety."

Knowing what to say to children may be tough for parents who are grappling with their own sense of fear and anger. In such cases, Abell says, parents should tailor their response to their child’s age.

For example, preschoolers through age 5 who show concern about the tragedy should be approached with simple, but straightforward language.

"Parents should explain that a few people didn’t care about hurting others and did a dangerous thing," Abell says. "But they should also talk about how such tragedies are rare and probably never will happen to them."

Parents need to be aware that young children may not be able to verbalize their concern, she says. If the children seem to undergo behavior changes without verbalizing their concerns, parents may want to inquire if they’ve heard or seen anything that has scared them.

"If they do express concern, this is the appropriate time to talk with them," she says.

"One effective approach would be for parents to discuss their own feelings about the tragedy, while helping their children understand that an event as scary as this shouldn’t prevent them from enjoying their lives to the fullest." 

It’s also important to address why "bad" people acted with way they did and to discuss other ways they could have promoted their cause more constructively and without bloodshed, she says.

Some teenagers may not want to discuss the event at all, Abell says, and that is why it is especially important for parents to share their own feelings with them. Teenagers, in fact, often tend to respond to parents willing to describe their own reactions and questions about the event, she says.

There are a variety of other creative ways to help children work through their feelings. One approach would be to help raise money for the Red Cross or some other charitable group to support victims of the tragedy. Another would be to encourage younger children to draw pictures of the tragedy.

"It’s important throughout this ordeal that children be reminded of all that people are doing to work through the disaster and to help people who have been affected," Abell says. "They also need to understand that when something bad happens there are always good people ready to step forward to help."

Maybe most important, Abell says, is for parents to remember that children will need a lot of hugs and encouragement in the weeks and months to come.