Auburn, Dec. 7---Ready or not, the holiday season is here. They are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but unfortunately for many Alabamians, the holiday season is often one of the most stressful times of the year.

Why is the holiday season such a disappointment for so many people? It's because people have such high expectations about how families should act and feel, says Dr. Ellen Abell, a family and child development specialist with the Alabama Cooperative Extension System.

The large number of cards, advertisements, movies and songs we're exposed to during the season only reinforce these high expectations.

People also have to make a lot of choices at Christmas time, says Abell. Although these choices often make the holidays fun, coming to terms with them can create more stress.

Then there's the issue of family. Sometimes holidays are the only chance during the year for many large families to gather under one roof. Bringing too many people into close quarters invites trouble and creates more stress, Abell says.

Stress is a part of everyday life. There will always be pressures that can create it. What makes these pressures stressful are not the events themselves but the way people deal with them.

"When stress builds, we often argue with those we love, or expect too much of ourselves," Abell adds. "Sometimes, little problems are blown up into big crises. We lose sleep and energy, and we find ourselves not enjoying the holidays."

"Minimize stress by first realizing you are the cause of most of your stress," Abell says. Find out if you are holding unrealistic expectations about the holidays. Maybe you are stressed because someone close to you is not acting the way you expected.

Get to the root of the problem. For example, you may be stressed because you have made too many commitments or because events are not turning out the way you expected.

You can cope with stressful family relationships by highlighting positives. If there's a relative you do not get along with, try focusing on a positive trait. For example, if this person likes cards, get him or her involved in a card game.

If you cannot work things out with relatives, find a productive activity to occupy your time such as going for a walk.

Remember, you often cannot control the situation, but you can control the way you react to it.