Don’t Let Holidays Stress You Out

Ready or not, the holidays are here. They are supposed to be the most wonderful times of the year but for many Alabamians, the holiday season turns out to be the most stressful time of the year.

Stress is a part of everyday life. There will always be pressures that can create stress. What makes these pressures stressful are not the events, but the way people deal with them, says Dr. Ellen Abell, a family and child development specialist with the Alabama Cooperative Extension System.

Holiday stress comes in many forms. Too high an expectation for what the holiday should be or how family and friends should act or feel is one form. Often, these high expectations are reinforced by the large numbers of cards, advertisements, movies and songs we’re exposed to during the season.

People also have to make a lot of choices at Christmas time, says Abell. What to cook, what to buy, how much to spend, how to decorate, who to invite to an open house and what to wear to parties, are just a few choices. Although these choices are often what make the holidays fun, coming to terms with them can create more stress. Budgeting time and money also add to stress levels.

Then there’s the issue of family. Sometimes holidays are the only chance during the year for many large families to gather under one roof. Bringing too many people into close quarters often invites trouble and creates more stress, Abell adds.

“When stress builds, we often argue with those we love or expect too much of ourselves. Sometimes, little problems are blown up into big crises. We lose sleep and energy, and we find ourselves not enjoying anything about the holidays,” she says.

Minimize stress by first realizing that you are the cause of most of your stress. Get to the root of the problem. For example, you may be stressed because you made too many commitments or because events are not turning out the way you expected.

You can cope with stressful family relationships by highlighting positives. If there’s a relative you don’t get along with, try focusing on a positive trait. For example, if this person likes cards, get him or her involved in a card game. Even if you can’t work things out with relatives, find a productive activity to occupy your time, such as going for walk.

Remember you often cannot control the situation, but you can control the way you react to it.

SOURCE: Dr. Ellen Abell, Family and Child Development Specialist, Alabama Cooperative Extension System, (334) 844-4480.

Posted by Jim Langcuster at December 16, 2004 09:40 AM